Women: What’s Your “Game Face”? Make-up or Sweat?
A friend and kind reader of this newsletter sent me this:
“I think you might consider an article about "putting on your game/ugly face". While at the Dam-to-Dam race I overheard a group of women talking about how they like to exercise, but only in private. They went on to discuss how ugly they looked when exercising and they wouldn't want anyone to see them. On reflection, I thought how sad.... Anyhow, I thought you would do a good job with this topic.”
I first wondered if this was too delicate a subject - especially for a man - to handle. But I wrote a few of my women friends who work out and asked for their reactions. They were compelling.
A sizeable number of the friends I asked just didn’t recognize the issue. It wasn’t in their frame of thought. They had so successfully integrated exercise to their lives that the issue of others watching just didn’t register.
Others wanted to speak to the women in the overheard conversation and assure them that no one really cares. That there is less attention being paid to how they look than they think. That they should prize the inner beauty of feeling good over the exterior “cover ups”. That bodies and faces in motion are beautiful and don’t need makeup to be beautiful.
And a third grouping of friends reacted along a more sociological approach. Saying that women are, and especially used to be, often raised this way. But that society is changing and so is the perception of women. With this change, women athletes are more often regarded as equals to men. And that all people, not just men, are expected to work out, and thus sweat.
There’s too much here to ignore. So, thanks to these reactions, I plunge in with the help of my women workout friends. All the quotes throughout this article come from them with my thanks.
This scenario illustrates the problem:
“Imagine you're working out somewhere like the Y, with other folks of varying fitness levels and body types surrounding you, regardless of where you are in your fitness journey--you're feeling like you might survive the workout, like maybe you're even doing pretty well at this (whatever this is), you're feeling pretty good about yourself for getting there and sticking with it, and then you catch a poorly timed glimpse of yourself in the GIANT mirror at the front of class--gasp, yikes! Whatever it is--unflattering stance, unflattering expression, realization that you do not look quite as awesome in those new yoga pants as you thought-- positive mental picture is burst--reality slows down your momentum, your motivation and probably your pace.”
This can happen to a woman or a man. But there is no doubt that in our society the predominance of this feeling remains with women. And there is no doubt that some of that attitude has its roots in society’s view of women.
A hundred years ago, restrictions on women’s athletic behavior were numerous. Women were not allowed in the Olympics until 1900 and even then concern over their strength and stamina led to the discouragement of their participation in the more physically intensive sports.
Change from this view occurred gradually. Women’s suffrage in 1920 moved the needle significantly. Social opinion changed greatly as women began assuming the working roles of men in our wartime economy of World War II. In 1964 passage of the Civil Rights Act helped energize the women's rights movement. And search for equality continued through greater social freedoms for women in the 1960's and 1970's.
The passage of “Title IX” took the issue of gender equality into the realm of sports by threatening to deny federal funds to institutions that discriminated against women. The legislation, sponsored by Senator Birch Bayh (D-Indiana), meant that colleges would have to comply with this mandate despite fears that it would be harmful to men’s sports. Attempts to weaken the bill by exempting revenue producing sports, lead by the NCAA and sponsored by Senator John Tower (R-Texas), failed and the bill went on to become law in1972.
While some argued that Title IX would be the “death” of mens sports, data suggests that the total number of college participation opportunities has increased for both sexes in the Title IX era. Indeed men’s sports seem plenty healthy today - post Title IX.
And for women the results have been nothing less than staggering. Since Title IX there has been a 940% increase in female participation in high school athletics and a 456% increase in female participation in college athletics.
More girls are getting involved and finding a love for sports that was once seen as something only for boys and men. Increased participation in sports has had direct effects on other areas of women's lives. These effects can be seen in women's education and employment later on in life; a recent study found that the changes set in motion by Title IX explain about 20 percent of the increase in women's education and about 40 percent of the rise in employment for 25-to-34-year-old women.
“Women should be kicking butt in the gym - and proud of it. It is something that those who came before us could not necessarily enjoy!”
The impact of Title IX is both practical and symbolic. Participation in sports has helped prepare many girls for success in other walks of life. And many believe that the impact has become global due to the example it sets for other nations and through Olympic competition.
We now have a generation of women to whom the posing of this question is unfamiliar. Hurray.
“Wow! I've never heard such a thing. Hmmmmmmmm. I have to think about this! I've done sports since I was a kid so it's truly never crossed my mine.”
“Wow.. I'm not really sure what to say to that. I've never been a woman who feels like I need to make myself up (ie wear make up or do my hair) to work out.”
At the same time, there are important messages to be sent to those women and men who labor under a fear of how they might appear at the gym. It’s not just sociological, it’s personal.
Among the personal messages offered:
∙ There is less, if any, attention being paid to you and how you look than you think.
“...most people at the gym are there for the same reasons you are - they want to get in and out as quickly as possible and get as much out of their workout with the time they have - this means they are not looking at you and how "ugly" you look while you are working out...”
One comment came from a friend, a personal trainer who frequently trains women clients. She described the conversation that would often ensue:
“The client would say ‘Really, you are going to make me do that? I think I will look dumb and people are watching’ . We usually continue on, and at the end of the workout I will ask her to tell me what ugly faces and looks they remember seeing on others while working out. Usually they give me a puzzled look. Almost ALL the time they can't tell me anything, because they weren't looking at that. It's my way of showing my clients that people don't really pay attention to that sort of thing.”
Of course, there are exceptions. It would be naive to say otherwise. But the extent of the exceptions vary greatly with where you work out and when. I believe the values of the YMCA particularly discourage this occasional behavior.
“I've belonged to the YMCA for years. I can share with these ladies, no one comes to the Y to judge someone else's facial expression while they're working out. That would not be tolerated.”
“One of the things I enjoy most about the Y is the wide range of levels we welcome and get to see grow. No one judges you except you.”
“That is one of the great things, I think, about the YMCA. Unlike some fitness studios, nobody comes in with make up and the newest fad of clothing.”
Of course, everyone should work out where and when they are most comfortable. But they should not feel restricted or compelled in a way that discourages the workout. We all know it’s hard enough to get out the door to workout sometimes.
Other personal messages offered by my women workout friends:
∙ There is a beauty in the expression of effort, whether that be sweat, a grimace, or tousled hair.
“Women can be tough and beautiful at the same time - as a woman, I admire the women most at the gym who are confident and working hard, regardless of how they look.”
“I share the sentiment that a women’s “game face” when exerting effort as in a sport or exercising is honorable and motivational.”
∙ Please don’t cheat yourself of the health benefits of exercise because of a fear or misconception.
“I challenge those women to look around a YMCA (or a race) and see the beauty in women choosing a healthy lifestyle over a notion of outer beauty. It’s not about the look, its about the attitude.”
“What is more important to them? How they look for one hour a day? Or how healthy, feeling good, and looking good they are for the remainder of the time? Looking "ugly" for one hour a day so that they can look and feel good the other 23 seems like an easy sacrifice to make... and then throw on the life long benefits...”
“Do it yourself. Don’t do it for anyone else. If you are truly doing it for yourself it won’t matter what anyone thinks, you are there, you are doing it, by it I mean on the track to getting healthier, more fit, stronger. No one can take it from you and don’t let them.”
We were born to move our bodies. Our evolution demands movement for us to stay healthy. A thousand years ago our ancestors - male and female - had to move every day to hunt, gather and survive. Only in the last hundred years or so has automation allowed our sedentary lifestyle. This has happened in all kinds of ways. Now we push a button to open a door, instead of pushing against the door.
But we’ve outsmarted ourselves. Evolution cannot keep pace with the rate of technology. Our bodies decay without movement because movement is our biological imperative.
There is no distinction between men and women here. No distinction between those who wear make-up and those who don’t. We are, just, human. And as humans, we have a choice to move, or to die. Everything else is detail.
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